Time and Again
by sevanderslice
Summary: A grief sticken Kaidan Alenko gets called to identify an injured soldier. - Shenko. Very mild spoilers for the ME3 extended cut ending DLC. One brief instance of course language.


_Teeny, tiny spoilers for the Mass Effect Ending DLC. I wrote it after choosing the "destroy" ending. It was written hastily and hardly proofread, but I got an idea that needed to be exorcized. I hope you enjoy it. Rating is for one tiny swear word. No smut, sorry._

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**Time and Again**

Kaidan's ears filled with the agonized moans of the injured and dying, as he made his way through the long bleak warehouse. Every so often the cacophony was added to by the mournful cry of someone left behind by a loved one. At least they weren't alone, he thought bitterly. None of them were going to be pulled from their lover's arms at the last minute. He gritted his teeth; bit the inside of his cheek to transfer the pain into something tangible. The families in this improvised hospital would stay together until the very end, as it should be… as it should have been for him.

Stomping down the fury once more, Kaidan made his way over to the makeshift reception area. A couple of folding tables, covered in numerous datapads and manned by two completely exhausted looking volunteers, made an L shape in the middle of the floor.

"Excuse me," he addressed a particularly bedraggled, young blonde woman. "I'm Major Kaidan Alenko. I'm here to meet with Doctor Atkinson."

"Oh, that's me!" She exclaimed, in a frantic London accent. She leapt to her feet with a surprising amount of energy and rounded the crude desk. "Please excuse the lack of a uniform or identifying badges; those things are a little hard to come by these days. Thank you so much for coming, Major Alenko." She vigorously shook his hand. "I wasn't sure if Admiral Hackett actually passed along my message. It's been a couple of weeks since I sent it."

"I only just got back to Earth this morning," he explained, gently extracting his hand from her overly enthusiastic grip. "My ship was damaged in the final battle and was only just able to make the trip."

"I see," she frowned. "Well, I'm happy to see you made it back in once piece."

Kaidan winced, suppressing the urge to scream at the unsuspecting doctor that, despite appearances, he was most certainly _not_ all in one piece. Bitter tears welled up in his eyes, but he stubbornly forced them back. He hadn't let himself really cry since Hackett informed them of the Commander's death, and he certainly wasn't about to start now. Shepard had made it very clear, as she'd shoved him back onto the Normandy and bid him a loving farewell, that she wanted him to live. As furious with her as he was for making him leave her, for fucking dying on him _again_, he was going to do his best to follow her last request. If he wanted to accomplish that at all, he couldn't afford to lose himself in grief.

Managing a polite, "thank you," Kaidan changed the subject. "So why am I here? Did you need me for something?"

"Yes, of course." She started to lead him towards a row of identical curtained off areas. "I, and many of the staff here, are very much hoping you can shed some light on a little mystery we've uncovered." Her smile was infectious and Kaidan felt himself inclined to return it, despite his confusion.

"I'll try," he assured her.

Grin growing impossibly wider, the young doctor continued. "Some volunteers discovered a soldier underneath a pile of rubble a few weeks ago. There was a lot of external and internal damage, most likely caused by some type of explosion. We found plenty of burns and shrapnel wounds, some pretty extensive smoke inhalation and a significant amount of blood loss. Upon arrival to the hospital, the patient was unresponsive and barely breathing. Fortunately, we've managed to repair the epidermis and almost completely restore full lung function. Vocal cords are going to take a little while longer, but the patient should be able to speak again once they regenerate fully. The patient has also regained consciousness and is lucid, but we're having trouble communicating." She paused, laid a hand on his arm. "That's where you come in."

"Look, Doctor Atkinson," exhaustion and grief threatened to compromise Kaidan's sanity. At the very least, he felt his patience growing rather thin. "I empathize with every single person in this hospital, and I want to help in any way I can, I really do. But I just don't understand why you called me down here to tell me about one individual soldier. I'm not some kind of medical specialist. I'm not sure what you need me for."

The joy he'd seen just moments before in Atkinson's face, sunk into a disappointed frown. "I'm sorry Major," she said. "I thought Admiral Hackett told you. I assumed that's why you came."

Kaidan let out a long, weary sigh. "I was ordered to report to Doctor Jane Atkinson at the established Alliance Navy Hospital as soon as humanly possible. That is all the information I was given."

"The patient in area 246, the one we've been discussing…" She gestured towards the curtained section at the far end of the hall. "Well, we called you down here because when they found her she was wearing your dog tags."

Time stood still for half a heartbeat as Kaidan processed what she'd just said, and then he was sprinting down the concrete floor as if it were about to crumble under his feet.

"Major, wait!"

He heard the young doctor's cry, but didn't heed it, too desperate to uncover the truth of his suspicions. The drapes slid open on their ball bearings with a metallic screech and suddenly he was in the tiny, dim alcove. The tinny beeps of the heart monitor were a stark contrast to the timpani solo being performed in his chest. He barely breathed as he approached the bed, too afraid to even blink lest the vision before him fade into something much less impossible.

"Shepard?" he breathed, reaching out with shaking fingers to trace the familiar line of her jaw. He needed to touch her; couldn't quite make himself believe she was truly real. There was a new, faint scar across the bridge of her nose, and the gloriously long, ginger hair he so loved to get lost in was almost gone, hacked all to pieces and barely reaching past her ears. But the curve of her cheek was still the same, as was her tiny pointed chin and the smattering of freckles across her delicate nose.

His eyes burned. The lump that had been building in Kaidan's throat for weeks threatened to explode. This was _his_ Shepard, back from the dead…_again_.

Kaidan heard the doctor enter the tiny, intimate space, but couldn't bring himself to turn around. "Damn woman's got nine lives," he croaked, a crooked smile splitting his face. "I should know better by now than to count her out before I have proof."

"I take it you and my mystery soldier are well acquainted, then?" Atkison quipped, her own smile evident in her voice.

"You could say that," he breathed. "I thought you said she was conscious."

"She's in and out," the young woman replied. "Still has quite a bit of healing to do. From the look on your face though, I don't think she'd mind too much if you woke her up for a few minutes."

Kaidan's expression grew sober. "Thank you, doctor. You don't know what this means to me. I won't forget it."

"The pleasure was all mine," she replied, and Kaidan could hear a rough edge creeping into her own voice. "Every happy ending I see is another victory. I'll leave you two alone for a while. You can answer my questions later."

She left without another word and Kaidan turned all his attention back to the woman on the bed. "Shepard," he said again, brushing the back of hand across her cheek. "Baby, it's Kaidan. Please wake up. I need to see those gorgeous green eyes of yours."

She awoke slowly, blinking a few times in confusion. Kaidan knew the exact moment she recognized him, because those stunning emerald eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"Hi," he said, weeks of emotion pouring out in a single syllable.

No sound escaped her mouth as she moved it, but Kaidan recognized his name on her lips.

"Yeah, it's me." He confirmed, reaching down to gently clasp her hand. He held it to his cheek for a moment, kissed her palm. "God, you look beautiful."

She rolled her eyes at him and he laughed, struck by how absurdly normal the gesture was.

"We all thought you were dead," he told her, a single tear sliding down his check as the grip he held on his emotions slipped a bit.

She swiped under his eye; caught a tear on her thumb._ Me too_, she mouthed.

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," he tried to joke. "It's not like this is the first time you've gone off without me to die alone, only to miraculously show up somewhere else. I'm starting to think it's your signature move." Kaidan tried to chuckle again, but the sound came out broken and distorted. In moments he was crying in earnest, the emotional dam he'd built crumbling to dust.

Shepard's face fell. Her hand smoothed into his hair. _Kaidan, no._

"Don't you dare do that to me again," he sobbed, "never, again. If you want to go off and be a big damn hero, I'm going too. We live and die together, alright? I can't lose you again, I can't. Not one more time!"

_Alright_, she mouthed, her own tears leaking out to dampen the pillow. _Love you_. _Forever_.

Kaidan drew in a deep, shuddering breath and buried his face against her shoulder. "Forever," he murmured against her skin, "sounds like an excellent plan, Commander."


End file.
